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Monday, May 31, 2010

BEA 2010 Round Up: Day 1

For my first post on BEA 2010, I thought I'd talk about what it's like--and what it takes--to be a book pimp.

book pimp n. & v. slang 1. A person who promotes books at a conference particularly during author signings; now, especially for debut or unknown authors who lack a strong platform (non fiction) or fan base (fiction); an intern or struggling writer willing to work for little to no pay in the hopes of gaining experience and useful publishing contacts.
The View of BEA from Midpoint Trade Books' Author Signing Stand

I've learned a lot since my first foray into book pimping last year at BEA 2009. Most notably, I learned not to feel ashamed for being a book pimp.

This year a man in a suit stopped to say, "You should tell other publishers how to sell their books." I agreed with him--well, insofar as books need to be SOLD. I'm not sure publishers need to hire me as some sort of book pimping consultant, though I'm fond of the idea. What's odd about publishing is that people often forget that it's a business. No matter how gorgeous and genius the writing is, no one's going to read it if you don't tell them it exists. And that requires you to sell it.

So here are some pointers for the future book pimps out there:

1. Nail The Blurb: I find it helps to have 1 or 2 blurbs that you can say easily and in a short span of time. You have to catch people's attention as they hurry past you. I usually ask the author for a blurb and then chop it down from there.

Sometimes I sacrifice accuracy for a better pitch, depending on reading trends that might catch people's attention.

Last year I shamelessly promoted a YA paranormal as the next Twilight, only to discover later that it involved sex scenes and uncomfortable situations that would make Stephenie Meyer cringe.

This year I strove for more accuracy but it still doesn't hurt to bend the truth a little. What's important is getting the book into a reader's hands with enough incentive to read the first page. After that it's up to the author to get them to keep reading.

2. Don't Make Eye Contact: Book people--writers and readers--are often shy. They're attending a conference, not a carnival. I find that it's best to scope out potential targets as they approach. Then I stare off into the distance and say my blurb loud enough for people to hear. Sometimes the target will glance at me, and then visibly relax when they see I'm not looking straight at them.

I'm not guilting them or forcing them to meet a debut author and take a free, signed book. I just happen to be suggesting it--loudly--as they walk by.

If you stare directly at the target, you will often scare them off if for no other reason than people don't like to do things that they're forced or expected to do.

3. Pretend Not to Care: Everyone's ignoring you? The author has broken into a cold sweat and is scaring people with her mumbling? No one has taken a single free copy?

So what?

Book pimping is inherently awkward but if you let that show, then you'll just alienate people. Try to stay relaxed, smile pleasantly, stare off in the distance and just generally pretend to be confident about the book you're pimping. People can smell desperation and it will drive them away.

4. Snub the Suits: You've got to narrow down your targets or risk sounding like a babbling idiot, and earning the hate of anyone working in the adjacent booths. Make your best guess as to who (at a conference I focus most on gender) the book appeals to. Then gauge how your pitch is working and make changes if necessary. Alter the blurb, and target different people.

Within minutes you'll discover that the book on brain waves and sales appeals more to middle aged men and the health book attracts women in their 30s.

People (mostly women) who aren't dressed up are often librarians. Target them! I cannot stress how much I love librarians as a book pimp. They are friendly, curious, and willing to take a look at just about anything.

Ignore the stressed out men and women in suits. These are industry professionals, hardened and jaded, with absolutely no interest in your author. Don't waste your perfectly pleasant soft focus stare, casual smile, and polished pitch on these industry snobs.

5. Family First: A family member makes the best book pimp of all. They are endlessly loyal, sincerely proud of the author, and somehow people find them much more approachable than the actual author. At this BEA I had help from several family members.

One wife helped cement the author's relationship with a reader by chatting with the reader after he had met the author and taken a copy of the book. Another woman had help from her two daughters. Their style of book pimping was more along the lines of, "Hi. My mom wrote this book. Don't you want a copy??"

It didn't hurt that the daughters were barely legal, attractive, and shameless. Several older men found themselves in line for a book thanks to those two. Hey, whatever works.

6. The Cover is Everything: A beautiful, professional cover will sell itself. Contrary to popular belief, you HAVE to choose a book by it's cover, especially at a conference.

Authors: do not settle for a cheap cover. It may cost more, but a nice cover can legitimize the book and attract interest. One book I pimped was self published, but the designer did such a great job that the cover and interior made the book look like it came from a big publishing house. Honestly, all I had to do was hold it and people lined up to take it. Do not underestimate the power of a good cover.


And that, with a little practice, is what it takes to be a great book pimp!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

BEA 2010 Round Up Week

Hey Everyone!

So I'm back in Vermont after a really fun and interesting BEA. Being an undercover introvert, I've been sleeping a lot and recovering from all the smiling and chatting that a big convention requires. But I wanted to give you a preview of what I'll be blogging about next week:

1. Big Book Pimpin': what it's like to be a book pimp, what it takes, and why authors often need them to help push their *free* books.

2. My BEA: authors I spotted (Catherynne effing Valente for one!!! I had a total fan girl moment), observations about the conference itself (a decided lack of bikini clad girls this year--for which I was grateful), random conversations I had, publishers I heart, etc etc

3. My New Books: the ones I took and the ones I took pictures of because I couldn't get a free one.

4. NYC: I survived and ate good food, of which there are a couple pictures!

5. Anything else you want me to talk about!

So check back tomorrow for the start of my BEA Round Up! I'll be blogging about it all week.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

BEA Bound!

Hello, Reader. I'm sitting at my parents' computer feeling completely nervous and sick to my stomach. Later today I'm taking the train into New York City for Book Expo America 2010! I'll have to get a cab BY MYSELF (oh yes) and pimp the sh*t out of some books and maybe even force myself to chat with an agent or two.

Maybe.

I'm going to try to take risks and be brave because otherwise I will have nothing exciting and funny to tell you about. But first I'm going to try not to get lost.

Here goes nothing...

Friday, May 21, 2010

Friday Cuteness

The Rejectionist posted the most adorable video today on her blog (a blog which, by the way, is fantastic and hilarious, particularly if you are a writer). The video is so cute that I don't think any other cuteness post will do and so I'm stealing hers.

Watch this video. Sound is not necessary but it does amplify the cuteness factor. I promise it will make you feel happy even if you're having a slept late, socks don't match, zit on my face, forgot my lunch money kind of Friday.

CLICK HERE FOR CUTENESS

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Self Help

I was working in the self help section of the used book store today, which is probably why I'm in a self help sort of mood. I'm ready to diagnose and solve any problem with seven simple steps--or something like that.

I was just talking to my mom about my novel THE CHARMED BRACELET. She is the perfect reader because she can be a bit like a hummingbird. If you actually catch her sitting down, she is probably folding laundry, dispensing sage advice on the phone (usually to me), and reading a novel at the same time. And if that book loses her attention, she's gone. She's got too many other things to do to waste any time on a story that bores her.

I used to be the complete opposite of my mom when it comes to reading. I never skipped a single word--not even the somewhat annoying poems in Lord of the Rings or some other epic fantasy. But lately I've noticed that I'm getting a little pickier about what I read and don't read.

When you have to skip things often, or you get lost in the action because you can't keep up with the author's play-by-plays, it's irritating. And ultimately it takes you out of the story. So I've been trying to trim the fat off my writing. In fact, I trimmed a LOT. As in, I easily went from 116,000 words to 97,500 words. But there's that last five pounds I can't seem to shed. Why is that?

I think it's because I'm a control freak. I want you to picture my story exactly the way I picture it, so I'm going to tell you in precise detail how the protagonist walks across the room (yawn), how she turns her head (Zzz), etc. Ironically, the same control issue that leads me to over description, is probably what makes me skip the description in other books. Don't tell me how that looks! I already know.

So I'm a work in progress--as a person and a writer. Writing is a kind of therapy, I guess.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Tales From the Used Book Store

I'm not having a good day. Unfortunately, it hasn't been a bad day in a way that I think would be entertaining to recount. Mostly it involved migraines and rain and a little bad news. Very mundane in its badness, which is hugely disappointing. It would be nice if it had at least been epic or tragic or DRAMATIC in its badness.

But no, it's just an average rainy, lonely, bad day.

Thank goodness I found a funny book cover to cheer me up. I haven't found many this week because I've still been in the cookbook section. Why? Because--and this is rather funny--as soon as I declared the cookbooks perfectly organized, we got several more boxes of cookbooks in.

No, I did not cry. I did sit and stare for a while, trying to figure out where the new books would go. I'm sure this is good for building character or helping me with my control issues or something like that.

Luckily one of the books turned out to have the most unappetizing cookbook cover I've ever encountered:
I think this cover was supposed to invoke a Summer of Love 60's vibe (Note the whimsical top hat, the sprig of lilacs and the open field)--needless to say the copyright is from 1969.

But someone must have been high when they decided to pose this woman hugging a bunch of raw chicken breasts.

When I showed this to Barbara, the owner of Otter Creek Used Books, she said, "It's like hugging Salmonella." To which I really have nothing else to add except some hand sanitizer. *shudder*

The cookbook is entitled Alice's Restaurant, the women hugging the carcasses being Alice herself. And apparently there was a whole song and even a movie about this...or something. Check out the trailer and see for yourself.

Doesn't that just make you want to skip through a field with flowers in your hair and some raw meat clutched to your chest?

Aaaand I've just figured out how to cheer myself up!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Coxcombry Is Its Own Reward

But if you want more, there's also this Web site: Foppish Dandy.
And I say unto you again and again: THANK YOU, INTERNET.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Friday Cuteness

Did you know there was such a thing as mini sheep??
Okay, anyone who knows me personally knows about mini sheep but for the rest of you, read more here. Suffice it to say the breed standard height for Babydoll Southdown sheep is 18-24" tall.
I dream of owning a mini flock of mini sheep someday.
Granted, I also dream about people breaking into choreographed dance numbers in real life (I always thought the library was just begging for a big dance number), among other wild fantasies like discovering that unicorns are real and living in a treehouse.
I'm still holding out hope...for the sheep AND the choreographed dancing.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

The Spiders Never Saw This Coming

My parents have decided to lend their support to my ongoing battle against the Insect Underground (currently carpenter ants and, of course, spiders). They sent me these plugs that supposedly vibrate your walls and keep bugs away. Here's the card my mom sent with the plugs.You are the F'n best, Mom. You really are.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Cookbooks and Magic

Some randomness to cap off your Tuesday afternoon:

1. I've been wanting to share this link for a while. Design Sponge's blogger Amy M offers ideas for how to style your house like The Labyrinth. This is genius! Now if only I could get David Bowie to come live with me..."Jennifer, you know I'm not really the Goblin King, right?"

Shhh, Jareth. It's better if you don't talk. Just spin those crystal balls again, please?

"But that wasn't me!"

What did I say about not talking?

On second thought, maybe it's better if I just stick with the design ideas and leave David out of this.

2. Curt just sent me this article in Breitbart about a yogi who claims he was blessed by a goddess at a young age and given special powers. Apparently he doesn't eat or drink. The researchers suggested he might be getting energy from the sun. Umm, hello? He told you already: he is being sustained by the essence of the gods!!

If you really look at what's in front of you, you'll realize that there's magic all around.

3. Finally, here are the cookbook shelves at Otter Creek Used Books in all there reorganized, color coordinated glory!(Please note, the shelves were organized by theme first, and I organized them by color within that theme when possible.)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Tales From the Used Book Store

I began reorganizing the cookbooks today at Otter Creek Used Books. Few things in life make me as happy as organizing books thematically. Not even folding my underwear in rainbow order is this satisfying--because I can also organize the books by color, obviously!

Do you think I'm joking? I assure you, I am not.

Let's hand out the awards for today's book finds, shall we?

1. Arguably the Worst Cookbook Idea Ever:
Apologies for the shaky photo. It reads, "The Amazing Ingredient: Mayonnaise!"
An entire cookbook devoted to mayonnaise. Just...wow. And yes, it DID include desserts. If I had a kitschy, retro kitchen, I would be compelled to buy this just to put it on display.

2. Best Book Dedication:

For this book:
Which I have decided was given from a father to a son, perhaps when he graduated college or when he got married.

*pause so I can wipe the tears from my eyes in order to keep typing*

Sometimes the shortest dedications hold the most meaning.

3. Cover Most Likely to Make You Say, "They Just Don't Make 'em Like They Used To":

Cover:


Spine:
This design is imprinted on the cover. How eye catching and compelling is this? Do you not love it? Do you not want to run your fingers over the graphic blender and measuring cups?? Yes, yes you do.

All this love for a cookbook on BLENDER recipes. Now that is good design.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Can Good Books Be Happy Books?

I've been on a bit of a reading binge lately. My reading goes in bursts. I either don't read for a month or read a book a day for a week. I'm crazy and EXTREME like that. The books I've read recently are:

1. Second Nature by Alice Hoffman. Genre: Magical Realism

2. Hart's Hope by Orson Scott Card. Genre: Fantasy and, I would argue, a precursor to Urban Fantasy

3. Peony in Love by Lisa See. Genre: Historical Fiction

[Editor's Note 5/6/10: I forgot to include Requiem for a Dream and Love Story in that list. Yeesh! I really need to read something happy for a change!]

These were all well written books. They explored different themes in lucid prose. People like them.

But.

Yes, there's a but.

When I finished each of these books, I was sad. Pensive. Troubled. In short, I was not happy.

And you know what? I prefer stories that make me happy.

This got me thinking: Can a book be good (loose definition of good: beautifully written, multi-layered, intelligent, original)and still have a happy ending?
(Channeling Carrie Bradshaw. I totally write in my favorite feathered capelet. She and I have somuchincommon!)

I think the answer is yes. I'd like to think that the books I write achieve this. I wonder if that's why I love Neil Gaiman's books so much: He manages to combine lovely prose with canny insight, escapist plots with rich, complex themes.

I understand and respect the pure escapist fiction readers--the romantics, the thrill seekers, the armchair detectives. I'm a wannabe orphaned farm girl who is destined to overthrow the big bad god king and reclaim my birthright as benevolent queen, after all.

But can't there be a compromise between the Secret Life of Elephants and Memory Keepers fiction books and the fun books that make me happy?

Can anyone out there think of a "good" (using my definition) and happy book?

Tim Gunn+Superhero Costumes=Awesome

Yesterday I endured the first skirmish in what will surely be an epic, summer-long battle between me and the insects. While I consider myself the victor, I had not anticipated an organized assault by both the carpenter ants and the spiders (Okay, ONE spider, but one is all it takes!)

So, emotionally scarred, and somewhat afraid of my couch (spider sighting) and the desk at which I now type (spider sighting #2, was it or was it not the same spider?), I'm in need of a pick-me-up.

And maybe you are too. I mean, Mondays can be tough even when they aren't invoking the assistance of the insect underground.

To cheer us, here is Tim Gunn discussing superhero costumes for Crazy Sexy Geeks. It's just pure fun. I found it via The Fug Girls, via NPR's Monkey See Blog. Please to enjoy.