Personality and POV

I was just thinking that snarky observations from a first person POV are easier to pull off when the writing is in present tense.

It's on my brain because I just caught myself attempting a little more snark than usual from my protagonist and I accidentally wrote it in present tense. Highly scientific, I know.

But it did make me think about the books (especially YA or the Buffy descendents in adult Urban Fantasy) with a snarkier more sarcastic voice and the fact that they are often in present tense.

It's almost like the narrator gets a pass for making a funny but possibly unfair observation "in the moment" in present tense. There's this unspoken contract with the reader that says, I'm reading essentially stream of consciousness that's unedited by the protagonist. But in past tense, even when it's still first person, I feel like there's an expectation for at least a little bit of reflection on the part of the narrator even when its not clear when the narrator is telling us this.

(Unlike in, say, The Odyssey, where for a big chunk of it we know that Odysseus is recounting his past adventures.)

This is all so much brain mush oozing out of me while I try to do just about anything but finish my novel. Even so, anyone else have thoughts on this??

You're Not Doing it Wrong...

...if you're doing it at all.

 (We're talking about writing here, folks. What did YOU think I meant?...!!! Honestly, you people. Minds of filth!)

I don't normally like to read writing advice posts. I think I used to, but at some point I had learned enough  that I actually had some opinions of my own. This has led me either to disagree with the author doling out advice, or—more often—worry that my process isn't similar enough to said author's process and therefore I must be doing everything wrong and THEREFORE I must not be a real writer.

And then I read this *FRABJOUS* post by Catherynne Valente on Charles Stross' blog. I highly recommend it. Here are a couple parts that I particularly liked:

"I've heard a lot of teachers say that you should write for yourself and not an audience, and while it's true that you shouldn't pander to an audience's expectations (you can never satisfy them) to the exclusion of your own sensibilities and enjoyment, to me writing is hugely about the audience. Maybe it's my theatrical upbringing. Playing to an empty house is a fundamentally different act. And not as much fun. 

(I agree! I talked a little bit about my opinions on this way back in April 2010 which you can read here.)

 "Almost every writer I know has at one time or another said they felt they were Doing It Wrong and there had to be an easier/faster/slower/better/less stressful/better tasting way to write a book. Not just the standard long dark teatime of the middle third of the novel where we pretty much all think we're terrible at this and should be strung up for the imposters we are, but that the method by which we accomplish books is the wrong one. 

(You guys, I think that's where I JUST WAS. The dark teatime. Thank goodness it's over.)

"The truth is, if there's a finished book at the end of it, it's the right way to write a book. I say that having just stayed up all night for the second time this week to finish something, which I always tell myself is stupid, and I am stupid, and I am not in college and why couldn't I do it during the day like a non-vampire? But it's never been a realistic expectation of myself not to write things the way I have always written them, which is to say all in one go, usually late at night, pushing through because if I don't stop I can't doubt myself. It's part of who I am as a writer, and however you write is part of who you are, too."

(Let us take comfort in the fact that even Catherynne Valente, she who can write a sentence that stops you in your tracks with its beauty, also berates herself for being stupid about the way she writers.)

Seriously, it's a wonderfully candid, pragmatic post by a gifted writer, and I hope you check it out!

As ever, be kind to yourselves. 

Rivendell Hell

Just a quick writer post for tonight. I finally carved out some writing time tonight and I spent much of it panicking.

(Aside: Don't you think the "k" in the verb panicking as opposed to panic, makes the word look particularly unstable and anxious? I do. Moving on...)

As you might have surmised from the title of this post, I'm back in "Rivendell." For the unfamiliar, "Rivendell" Is what I call a particular place in my novel, where the protagonist Maggie gets some much-needed R&R as well as answers. It's Important but there's not a lot of action.

 I can't tell you how many times I've rewritten this scene. I've changed the POV, changed what happens, changed the architecture, changed the characters in the scene, changes what Information is given and what Revelations are made. In the process I've eliminated thousands of words. And I'm still. Working. On it.

It's a really important section because it's the filter where everything comes together (mostly) and the reader and Maggie finally have a direction and a goal and of course there has to be emotional growth, but not too much. And I made it worse by adding a new friend to help Maggie with all of this. And then I decided to swoon it up by bringing in the Guy at an unexpected time. And then there are the dreams.

Yes. Dream sequences. I KNOW. They are technically restored memories but still. One must tread carefully, oh-so-very carefully, when it comes to the dreaded dream sequence.

But I made a little progress tonight, finally, after a pep talk from Curt the Inspirational Speaker/ Coach. And now it's time for bed. Thanks for reading. Writing is often lonely business.

Sweet Dream Sequences, Reader.

Chapter Update: Lucky 13

I believe the last time I updated you on my novel progress, it was way back at Chapter 9? Well, we are way past that, my friend. Granted, I made some chapters shorter than usual to give the reader some breathing room. Even so, guess what chapter I just finished???

LUCKY CHAPTER 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It did not feel like a particularly lucky chapter. In fact, it felt hard and slow and painful and hard and slow. And hard. Also slow. And technically I'm mid scene so....this is not over.

BUT! I am thrilled to announce that a straight up awesome angsty teen scene has made itself known. I did not expect it or plan it but it's totally happening, you guys. Normally I kind of hate when authors are all, "Oh then I was like, 'omg! I can't believe my story is doing this to me! Whatever shall I do? I am but the hand that records this bestselling story.'"

Or something like that.

But this idea sort of came out of nowhere. Like, hey I'm bored. Let's throw all the characters into each other and see what happens! Yay! Plus some teen angst. It's like a high school dance except with a faerie ring and stuff. Pretty. Sweet.

Just wanted to give you an update! Can I get a Huzzah up in here?

To Chapter 12...and Beyond!

You guys, I'm having PLOT THOUGHTS. I didn't tell you (because my computer was not speaking to the internet for a couple weeks), but I fought my way to the cliff of Chapter 11 and I jumped!

That's right, I'm currently falling through space.

I got to the point in my revision where something Big and Bad, like super really bad, happens. This did not happen in the old draft because I was TOO SCARED. And now? Now it's done.

And it's totally cool!

But it means that from now on, the "revision" is moving into uncharted territory!! I've been digging in my heels about it. I thought it was all fear. Now I think it's just my secret self whispering at me to slow down, draw a damn map for a change and maybe figure out where the heck I'm going.

I sat Curt down tonight to talk through some stuff. Curt is very good at this. He asks all these annoying, really smart questions and then he lets me answer them and suddenly I can see a little further ahead than I could before. Lots of Things are happening in my head. I'm not quite sure where I'm going yet but at least I'm starting to realize that I'm not standing on one meager path.


Oh no, there's a TON of paths all curling out from under my feet. Some are worn down grass, some are stone, some are bread crumbs and all of them are calling to me. I  just hope I figure out which is the right one. And soon. It's dark out here in the woods. I mean in the air. I mean—curses! This metaphor has a mind of its own, not to mention this novel...

Interlude for the Writer

Since you've followed me through the dark forest that was my revised chapter 4 for The Charmed Bracelet, I thought I should let you know that it's "done." As in, I've passed it on to a fearless beta reader and today I am officially moving on to chapter 5.

Can I get a, "Huzzah?" HUZZAH!

While we're on the subject, The Charmed Bracelet as a title is not working for me anymore, simply because I'm worried that it will scare away boys. Then again, a book written by a woman with a female protagonist might scare them off anyway, but I'd like to give the boys the benefit of the doubt. What do you think?

In other news, I've got a new story idea coagulating in my head. I might be able to combine it with my old apocalyptic story idea, but I'm not sure. Mostly right now I've got a little scrapbook going in my brain, with bits and pieces of the world and the main character.

It's not set in the same world as The Charmed Bracelet. The only troubling thing is that I've already got two other faerie stories waiting in the wings: my lose retelling of Snow White and Rose Red about twin sisters and my story about Betony Monroe the Italian American half dryad who inherits a bookstore from her Great Aunt and a whole lot more besides.

Also, if you couldn't tell, my stories start with people, not plot. I wish plot came a little more naturally to me. We've all got our strengths and weaknesses, I suppose, our different strategies.

Here ends my writing update. Thanks for reading!

Revision Revelations

This morning I went to the local coffee shop before working at the used book store. I don't have a (working) laptop so I don't go to the coffee shop to write all the time, but I do like to go fairly often to work out plot snags with my trusty notebook.

Let's jump back in time to last August when I attended the Bread Loaf Writers' Conference. I took a workshop on writing action scenes and the teacher said something really interesting. He said that we could apply everything we learned in the workshop about writing action/ violent scenes to love/ sex scenes.

Okay, flashing back to the present. I'm plotting out Chapter 4 still ( YES, still. The freelance project took precedence for a couple weeks among other things). This big thing about chapter 4 is that Maggie is struggling with memory loss. This is a pivotal moment in the story--when she chooses to fight for her memories.

And as I was strategizing I realized that although almost everything important to the scene occurs internally, this was actually an ACTION scene--a fight scene! Maggie is fighting against her better judgment as well as Fae magic in order to regain her memories.

This little revelation may not seem all that shocking, but I think it helped remind me that sometimes you need to think about a scene from a different perspective. And also that--and this is something very important to me and my stories, at least--an internal/ emotional conflict can and should be just as riveting and important as a physical conflict.

The opposite can also be true, of course: a character's inner struggle during a fight scene can take precedence over the physical danger, and at the very least will add depth and meaning and raise the stakes of the fight's outcome.

The Climax: Why Is It So Hard?*

*Insert joke here

I just deleted a whole three paragraphs of this post. You know why? Because it was just foreplay. And while foreplay is nice and all, this post is about The Climax. So let's get down to business, shall we?

The question is this: What makes a good, satisfying climax (in a book)?

Well, since this is a one-way conversation until you all comment and share your opinions, I can only speak to my own preferences and opinions.

For me, I think I like for there to be simultaneous physical and emotional climaxes.

(One could, if one were so inclined, make a joke here about women and men and what they want from their corporeal climaxes. But this is a classy blog and also this post has nothing to do with those sort of climaxes, so this One, at least, will refrain from said joke.)

I think Fantasy lends itself well to this parallelism. There is often a journey across a physical landscape as well as a journey into adulthood or to a new realization, responsibility, relationship, or change of heart.

I like when the emotional and physical landscapes reflect each other. I think it's because it gives me the sense that there is a purpose to things, an order and meaning that may or may not exist in real life.

How about I make a list of what I DON'T like in my climaxes:

1. I don't like when the action is off stage
2. I don't like when the climax depends solely on a mental or emotional change with no action
3. I don't like when the climax has action that fails to also resolve or at least bring to a head (God, the puns are writing themselves!) the emotional issues in the story
4. I don't like when the climax revolves around characters or issues that I didn't think were central to the story

An example of a recent book's climax that I liked was A.S. Byatt's POSSESSION. It could have been guilty of #2 on my list since it's a mostly scholarly book however Byatt cleverly sets the climax during a massive (and, as it happens, real) storm as well as during a grave robbing. This gives the climax a sense of excitement while also bringing all the characters together--thus providing a lot of emotional resolution or at least bringing things to a head.

Can you guys think of some other climaxes that worked for you? Or some that didn't? And, I'm curious, do any of you have complaints/ pet peeves you'd add to my list?

A Post That Gets Dirtier As It Goes

My blogging has been spotty at best in the last week. If it makes you feel less neglected, I have composed many a witty, insightful post in the shower. However when I get out of the shower there has always been something demanding my attention--like digging out my car.

Exhibit A: Before

Exhibit B: After

Or icing my right hand after said shoveling in the hopes that my weird tendinitis doesn't get out of hand (PUN). Or going over TCB chapters 1 - 3 to clean them up for my badass beta reader.

That's right, Reader! I finished chapters 1 - 3 and I can say with complete confidence that they probably don't suck. I know, right? Cadbury Mini Eggs all around!

I also finished Juliet Marillier's WILDWOOD DANCING, with very strong, mixed feelings. That unwritten post has been looming over me ever since.

So, this post is really just an excuse for not having written and also a peek into what is to come. Namely, a discussion about climaxes.

WHAT? Reader, you shock me. I meant climaxes of the literary variety--of plot.

But now that you mention it, there are many parallels which I can use to illustrate my point. So, there's an XXX post coming your way (PUN)...

Soooo, Are You Still Writing That Book?

Ahh, the question I both love and dread, "Are you still writing 'that book?'"

Yes, Good Reader, I am indeed still writing that book. I'm terrible with updates so I thought today I'd let you know how it's been going. I just finished up rewriting the first two chapters in first person with a protagonist now a decade younger than she once was. Hurray! Happy dance!

The thing is, I had tricked myself into thinking that this revision would mostly require careful switches from "she" to "I", changing the protagonist's job to a summer internship before college, and then one major plot point about 3/4 in. I mean, an agent and editor had already told me that my writing lent itself well to young adult, so these little tweaks were all I needed, right?

Oh, how wrong I was!

Almost every single sentence in the novel is brand new. The major things that I kept were the names of characters and the basic plot and pacing.

The most crucial aspect of the revision has been my main character Maggie's personality and outlook on life. It goes without saying that a seventeen-year-old has a very different perspective on life than a twenty-seven-year-old (even a particularly pragmatic and cautious seventeen-year-old, like Maggie). She hasn't had all that time to become jaded and resigned to her lot in life. She's frustrated but still hopeful. I like her a lot.

In a way, I feel relieved. It's like I'm rewriting history: Maggie's adventure begins ten years earlier, so she never becomes the woman I once wrote about.

Oddly, her relationship to her sister hasn't changed much despite the fact that now Rory is the older sister, not the younger one.

The tricky part of this revision is that sometimes I sit down to write and I forget that Maggie is seventeen, that I am now writing about her before she could fall in love with that guy in college who is never going to love her enough not to take that job in Seattle, before she could give up on her dreams of changing the world. It's like writing in an alternate universe.

My next challenge is a major plot point: memory loss. When I was writing about a responsible adult, the memory loss was upsetting but not truly scary. Maggie was self possessed, practical. She could take care of herself. But how do I deal with memory loss for a seventeen-year-old?

Because of the circumstances of the novel, the reader could (wrongly) fear that Maggie has been the victim of date rape. I don't want to romanticize memory loss but neither do I want to bog down the plot with lecturing. I can feel the latent mother in me worrying about what kind of "message" I'm sending to my future readers. For the moment I'm mulling it over, trying to see if I can tweak the plot enough to address the seriousness of the situation while also reassuring the reader that Maggie's quest to recover her memories is going to reveal something exciting, not something terrifying.

Anyway, that's how "that book" is going. Thanks for asking, for wondering, for caring!

Revisions and Diet Books

Hello there! I apologize for not being my usual chatty self lately. This always happens when I get into a writing groove. I'm happy to say that after a desperate afternoon of "Dear God, why won't this novel just BE GOOD ALREADY?!?!?!" the revisions are going well. At least I think they are, anyway. I'm resisting asking my trusted beta readers to look at it until I've finished the first chapter.

This is a big overhaul--I'm aging the protagonist down to an eighteen-year-old from a former twenty-three and, for a short time, twenty-seven-year-old and I'm rewriting it in first person from third. Oh, and eliminating all the extra points of view. And making a major plot change. But it's totally no big deal! (Can you hear my voice getting higher and higher?) Okay so it's a big deal but it's also--I think--going to be a big big improvement, so let's focus on that for the moment.

In other news, today I began the task of weeding out and relocating the diet books at the used book store. This would probably mess with anyone's head and as I've said before, I've had a complicated relationship with my body since about...oh, first grade. That's when I noticed that when my skinny partner in jazz class bent over, I could see the bumps of her spine and that when I did the same thing, you couldn't see mine.

Needless to say, tonight's dinner is going to be heavy on the vegetables.

All jokes aside, it's a negative section to be in, and I intend on finishing this project as soon as possible.

It Was Not Entirely Unexpected

It's a quiet day here in Vermont. The sun remains unconvinced that forcing its way through the clouds is worth the effort. It's cold in my apartment but I'm unwilling to turn up the heat. It seems so frivolous when I'm the only one here. I will have to make some tea shortly.

When last we spoke, I had a grand plan to write ALL DAY and squeeze the last few hours out of NaNoWriMo. Well, it didn't quite go as I had expected. It was a very painful writing day, with me mostly deleting than moving forward. I know that goes against the whole idea of NaNo, but I'm stuck on a pivotal scene which sets up the quest and the secondary character and several other stakes so it's got to be at least close to right before I can forge ahead.

However, that night when I got into bed, two short stories started playing through my head. This, I realized, is my characters "talking to me." It's really just me writing the story in my head and usually I'm too cold to get out of bed and do anything about it. In point of fact, I was still too cold. Husband got up and grabbed me a pen and pad of paper. Yes, I do know he spoils me. My mom reminds me of this every time I see her. We are AGAINST spoiling in my family.

One of the stories that popped into my head was new and somewhat bizarre but I'm having a lot of fun with it. It's a little Kelly Link-like, well, as much as my writing could every approach her unique and wonderful style.

This is the first line: "It was not entirely unexpected that Agnes would make a sword out of her own hair, given the circumstances."

The Moral of This Story (that being this blog post, not the short story of which I was just speaking), is that sometimes a hard writing day cracks you open to new things you never expected--even if those things take the better part of a day to filter through to you and tend to wait until you are warm and cozy in bed.

The Magical Writing Machine

My friend Rebecca, who writes for New York Magazine, sent me this article about James Frey (yes, the guy who wrote A Million Little Pieces and got slammed by Oprah).

If you want to keep reading this post, I suggest you read the article first because I'm not in the mood to summarize today. According to my NaNoWriMo stats, at the rate I'm going, I won't finish my novel until....JANUARY. This makes me giggle a little. But it also occasionally fills me with dread (though as Husband pointed out, that's still a pretty short time to write a first draft, which is true but entirely beside the point.).

In short: there shall be no summarizing! Only long, apparently meaningless digressions.

Getting back to the point at hand, it seems that Frey has created a bit of a Magical Writing Machine. I imagine him in Victorian dress, peddling his monstrous creation on the dirty streets of London.Courtesy of Wellcome Images via The Quack Doctor (worth a click to check out this blog of "Historical Remedies for All Your Ills")

I imagine Frey would say something like this, "Step write up! See what my machine can do! Just add one high profile 'writer' (ME) with plenty of marketable ideas, toss in a few actually talented writers with no platform who are desperate to make it big and are tired of burning old manuscripts to heat their one room apartments, season with some marketing bigwigs who prioritize crucial story elements like needing a brand similar to Harry Potter's lightning bolt....and then just press this button. Walaa you have a bestselling book with a movie deal directed by Michael I-Blow-Shit-Up Bay."

And then he'd play with his suspicious Victorian mustache and wiggle his eyebrows and go count his money.

I'm just not sure about this. I guess it's not entirely shocking that factories like this could develop. It's up to the public to decide whether or not they have value. But it definitely leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

And so much for intellectual property. Those writers who sign with him (especially the ones who write under a pen name like Pittacus Lore) can easily be brushed aside, replaced, and silenced. It's just weird, almost as if the authors are banking on either making it big or, barring that, causing huge controversy by doing a tell-all on Frey, which will in turn get them a new book deal. It's all so flashy trashy.

Side note: I won a "signed" copy of I Am Number Four at BEA this year, which was not actually signed by the author--although in this case, the "author" is tenuous. Would Frey sign? Hughes, the supposed author? Let's be honest here though, some poor editorial or marketing assistant was probably the one signing these books. I was disgusted by the idea of winning a book signed with a pen name. Come. On. Pretty obnoxious, in my opinion.

Anyone else have opinions on this? Are you ready to step up and buy that magical elixir that cures everything and is made of sewage runoff?

Perhaps most disturbing of all: Will you even know the difference??

NaNoWriMo: Ready? (No!) Set? (No!!)...Go! (Oh sh*t)

All right, Reader. Now is the time. The time I stop making excuses. Stop being scared. Stop judging my writing before I can get a story down on paper. I have a very limited idea of the plot at the moment and the working title Heartwood.

It should be noted that I've already fallen short of one NaNo promise: I had planned to drive up to The Flying Pig Bookstore for a kickoff write-in. However, I have a sick laptop and while the co-owner and fellow NaNo participant Elizabeth offered to bring me a spare to borrow (how nice is that!?), I couldn't confirm that she had remembered because the NaNoWriMo site has been down all evening. So rather than drive an hour just to possibly write by hand (very demoralizing), I thought I'd better stay home. Hate to start off on a sour note of empty promises, but there it is.

Now, with tea in hand, it's time to bid you good night and write like my life depended on it (and not just my pride!). I'll be keeping you posted on my progress, if for no other reason than to shame myself into writing as fast as my weak little wrists will allow!

Onward, stubby fingers!

Thinking Thoughts

Hey there, Reader. It's a bit gloomy today. I'm at the bookstore trying to decide what I should work on first. I've also been thinking about NaNoWriMo. For those of you who don't know, November is considered National Novel Writing Month, and those who participate in NaNoWriMo commit to thirty days of writing with the hopes of hitting December with a completed novel in hand.

Now, no one is under the impression that this would be a finished novel, just a draft. I've been so overwhelmed with revisions lately (and conferences before that) that my new novel has been completely neglected for months. It's getting to the point that I'm a little scared of it. Maybe NaNo would force me to jump into it and just get a draft down.

Anyone out there want to weigh in on this or share their own NaNo experiences? Anyone...Bueller...?

How To Be A Good Host...I Mean, Writer

Like many writers, I struggle with first sentences. I grew up reading old novels, so I tend to write openings with lavish description. However I recently noticed that I no longer like a lot of description in the beginning of a story I'm reading. I just want to know if the story is worth my time. So as a writer, I need to be aware of what will put my reader at ease and draw them into the story.

Here's a metaphor I came up with to help me with this: Your opening sentence is the equivalent of you standing at the front door of your house (aka your novel) and inviting the reader inside as you open the door.

Introducing the main character right away is like introducing them to the most popular guest at the party, thereby making them feel like they have someone to mingle with. I'm not suggesting that you begin with, "Princess Babbletart lived in the Kingdom of Chatter, had long pink hair, and loved ponies." But the presence of a person in the first sentence gives the reader someone to latch on to.

Let's consider a few other, less comfortable party scenarios...

Open with a long, detailed description = No one is at the party yet. It's just an empty room with no music, snacks, no drinks. The reader is the first person there and doesn't know any of the guests who were invited. How would you feel in this scenario? I would make up an excuse, shut the door, and hurry home.

Open with dialogue = One of your guests is standing in the doorway talking at your reader before she has even been introduced to anyone. It's awkward and rude. I'd be angry and avoid that person the rest of the night--let's hope it's not your main character.

Open with lots of action = Your guests are dancing on the coffee table, swinging from the chandelier, and doing body shots off your cat. Your reader is completely stone cold sober. Totally awkward. I'd run home and hide.

BreadLoaf 2010: The Upper Crust

At long last, a list of the lessons I found most useful at The Bread Load Writers' Conference this year. I will credit specific instructors whenever I can (Margot Livesey figures prominently since she was my workshop leader. Also because she's a fantastic teacher and writer).

1. Be aware of how you write on the computer. Unlike when you flip open a notebook, when you open a Word document, you always find yourself at the very beginning. You may therefore be more likely to rewrite the beginning over and over again, when what you should really do is move the story forward and make revisions later. (Margot Livesey)

--This advice was a big wake up call for me. I'm guilty of this all the time and constantly rewriting your opening does not equal a fantastic opening necessarily (I know this from experience).

2. When receiving feedback from a reader, listen for the problem, not the suggested solution. Sometimes the reader is pointing you to a problem but isn't expressing it accurately. (Margot Livesey)

--Again, I found this so incredibly useful. Many times I've had a reader say, "This is just a little nitpicky comment, but..." I always try to listen for what the underlying problem might be. Oh, they don't understand this exchange between characters because I didn't successfully get across the main character's distress over recent events in the previous scene like I thought I had.

3. When you revise, ask yourself WHY you are telling the story at this TIME.

--This sounds like such simple, obvious advice but it's so easy to forget. As the writer, you know why you're telling the story and why you care about it: because you made it up. It's been birthed by your imagination and doesn't require validation anymore than a parent needs to explain why they love their newborn baby. However, as you revise you must ask yourself these questions because a reader won't instantly love your novel like you do.

4. The First Sentence:

It's very effective for an opening sentence to include some mention of a human being.

Don't make it too clever--it's distracting and makes the reader think about the person who crafted the sentence rather than the person the sentence is about.

(gleaned from a first sentence workshop by Lori Ostlund. By the way, her writing is insightful and hilarious. I highly recommend her story collection The Bigness of the World.)



5. The basic tools for writing an effective violent/action scene and a romantic/sexual scene are the same. (Matt Bondurant)

--I know this isn't advice exactly, but I think it's worth mentioning as a way to consider both types of scenes. The strategies you may automatically apply to one type of scene can be used to great effect on the other and vice versa.


All right, now it's time for me to apply all of this wonderful advice and get back to my own revisions. If I think of more lessons from Bread Loaf that I want to share, I'll post them soon!

"Han Solo" Parody

Apparently I have a cosmic connection with Jason Derulo because this is the second blog post about his music. Or maybe I'm just a big fan. Hmmmm. But ever since I first heard his song "Ridin' Solo" all I could think was that I needed to write a parody called "Han Solo".

So that's what I did with my Sunday evening. That's right, Reader, this is what I do for fun.

Read along with the song to get the full effect.


Han Solo

Yeeeeeyeeeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm flyin' in the Falcon,
can't stop my ride,
I'm loving my life, let's hit hyperdrive,
I'm Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Soloooo.

Yeah, I'm feeling good tonight,
Did the Kessel Run and it feels so right, oh,
Time to start another fight,
I always shoot first and my aim is tight, oh,
No one to answer to, Greedo's not gonna argue, no,
And since I got the Hutt off me,
I'm living life now that I'm free, yeah,

Told me get my ship together
now I got my ship together, yeah,
Now I gotta shoot at Vader
"...blow this thing!" I'll see ya later.

I'm so sorry that it didn't work out,
I'm moving on,
I'm so sorry Leia it's over now,
this rebel's gone,

I'm putting on my goggles,
cover up my eyes,
Tauntan for a ride,
I'm findin' Luke tonight,
I'm Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Soloooo.
I'm flyin' in the Falcon,
can't stop my ride,
Evacuate the base and fix the hyperdrive.
I'm Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Soloooo.

Now I'm feeling how I should,
never knew Leia could feel this good, oh,
Pay off Jabba now if I could.
Back in the Rebellion, who knew I would, oh,
First need to repair my wings,
Lando sold out, tried to make me sing, oh,
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Told me get my ship together
now I got my ship together, yeah,
Lando is a dirty traitor.
Damn, I really hate Darth Vader.

I'm so sorry that it didn't work out
I'm moving on,
I'm so sorry Leia it's over now,
this rebel's gone,

I'm staring straight ahead
won't cover up my eyes,
I've got nowhere to hide,
I'm headed for carbonite.
I'm Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, soloooo.
I'm falling like a falcon,
shot out the sky,
I'm clinging to life, but Leia's in disguise...
I'm Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Soloooo. I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Soloooo

yeah it's like S... O... L... O... S... O... L... O... S... O... L... O...
Livin' my life, ain't goin' stress no more,

I might as well have shades
I can't use my eyes,
I'm totally blind,
And Boba Fett still dies.
I'm Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Soloooo.
I'm flying in the Falcon,
can't stop my ride,
I'm loving my life, let's hit hyperdrive.
I'm Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Soloooo. I'm Han Solo, I'm Han Solo, Solo

A Dog Barked In The Distance

In keeping with my current dog theme (we pick her up TODAY!), I thought I'd share this interesting article by Rosecrans Baldwin at Slate.com. Baldwin examines novelists' use of unseen dogs barking, particularly during moments when the author wants a little break for emotional resonance.

Curious, I checked my completed novel THE CHARMED BRACELET. No dogs--not the anonymous, invisible barking kind anyway.

Do you have a dog barking in your novel?

Leave it!

So I'm about ten pages into my WIP, which has to yet to tell me its brilliant working title.

Aside: You know for someone who spent more time in third grade coming up with grandiose titles (The Last Dragon Queen, The First Star of Ria, The Three Golden Crowns...and that was just one series!) than writing the actual stories to go with them, I'm rather bad at it.

Aside #2: Writing in a notebook is a great ego boost, until you retype it into the computer. Only ten pages!? It's like an entire notebook....*sob*

Last night I finally agreed to let me husband read the pages. It went something like this:

CURT: Please please puh-leeze can I read your new WIP? Pleeeeeaaaaase?
ME: Well. Okay!

Hmm or maybe it was more like this:

ME: Ugh, I'm hitting a wall and I'm only ten pages in. (looks at husband with wide eyes) Maybe if you read it, that would help.
CURT: Yeah, okay. Sure.
ME: Great! So you'll read it right now.
CURT:...

Anyway, he read it and of course I read over his shoulder. And wow. Those pages are rougher that I thought. Not bad, mind you. Just rough, unpolished, a little gangly and awkward in places like a teenager. It's weird going from a 345 page manuscript that I've been working and reworking for countless eons, to something I just started. As I read through his eyes, my fingers began to itch with the need to edit.

LEAVE IT, says Victoria Stilwell, the host of It's Me or the Dog.

Victoria? What are you doing here?

LEAVE IT!

Maybe Victoria has a point. The pages are rough, not bad. And I really just need to get the scaffolding up right now. The rest will come later. But maybe if I just went back to that one bit of dialogue that would be so much funnier if I stretched it out just a bit--

LEAVE IT!

All right, all right...