Tuesday, November 24, 2009

D is for Diamonds. And Devil. And Doom.

It's that time of year! Time for the jewelry stores to pull out their most cheestastic commercials and horribly cheap designs (necklaces that sort of kind of look like a couple embracing--from above, obviously. Necklaces that look like a tail made of cubic zirconium, but which--we are told via said commercials--symbolizes a happy life together. Right.) For some reason, this is the time of year when jewelry becomes very Symbolic, probably to try and hide the fact that it's also Cheap and Tasteless.

To make matters worse, these commercials play at every single commercial break and, for mystical reasons beyond my comprehension, they make me tear up. Just a little. Despite the wooden dialogue, the overly romanticized setting, and the background elevator music. At the same time they make me vomit in my mouth a little bit because not only are they totally unrealistic, they are also trying to tell us that women can and should measure a man's love for them in carats.

Alas, even I have my weakness. De Beers' always manages to pull my feeble heart strings without also making me want to pull the proverbial trigger. And I'm still not buying what they're selling. I think it's just a hold over from those classic, sillhouette de Beers' commercials that aired in the 90's when I was fumbling towards puberty in a fragile hormonal state.

And somehow they keep on doing it. They must have sold their souls to the Devil decades ago for this sort of marketing genius. (Please note ugly necklace. But it's sparkly! And he loves her! Yeah. Right.

Please, let the torture be over soon.

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