So I've been feeling a little down on myself lately. No monsters, but I haven't been breaking into impromptu dancing lately or running down any slight hill, flinging my arms open, and shouting, "Da da da da daaaa the hiiiiiiills are aliiiiiive," which is what I might do if I was really feeling good.
It started to go wrong when several people (often people I love--and forgive for this) saw me around the holidays and congratulated me on being a KEPT WOMAN. They were serious, not sarcastic. "Wow, way to go!" "I wish I had a man to take care of me." "You're so lucky." And so on.
Dudes, I do not want to be a kept woman. I do not consider myself to BE a kept woman. However the fact remains that we moved to Vermont for Husband's job and I'm not exactly contributing a lot to the monthly bills while I write.
And then there's the fact that I'm undergoing yet another revision of my book. I finally recognized last week that this isn't a revision so much as a rewrite. A NEW book. Many writers say they had to write several books before they learned how to be a writer. As much as I wanted to skip that step and go straight to Amazing Published Author, I've learned that, for me at least, this is true. My novel has undergone several major revisions. Really, it's been several different novels. It's only now that I'm realizing this. That still doesn't impress people at parties though, in case you were wondering.
And then Loneliness came and crashed on my couch in the middle of January just before my birthday. So, again, very little spontaneous dancing going on around here. And I've been all, "WTH, Universe? Can't you throw a girl a bone here?"
But you know what? The Universe has been throwing me several bones--dumping them over my head, in fact. I just didn't like the flavor she was giving me. Or something. Let me explain before this metaphor gets out of control.
I've actually had a lot--a whole heaping ton--of love thrown at me lately from friends all around the world and I'm just realizing that I need to appreciate it. Last night my friend B went to see Ree Drummond, aka The Pioneer Woman. I started following Ree during my mommy blogger phase, and I've often said that I want to be her when I grow up.
After a really rough day, B went to see The Pioneer Woman in New York. Even though she was feeling down she thought about me and took this pic for me since I couldn't be there:
B wanted to buy me a signed cookbook but she was stressing about money--like most of us these days (Dudes, I don't even have TV). She must have said something along those lines to Ree because Ree then GAVE her a cookbook to give to me. What?! I can't even believe it. I mean, I can believe it because anyone who reads The Pioneer Woman knows what a warm, funny, wonderful person she is--just the kind of person who gives away free books to struggling writers and students. But like I said, we're all pinched right now, and every little bit means so much.
In case you were wondering, I've wanted to buy the cookbook for ages (her site has been the first place I go for fantastic recipes) but the way I first fell for Ree was by reading the story of how she and her husband Marlboro Man fell in love. Joy of joys, that story is now a published book, out yesterday and titled Black Heels to Tractor Wheels: A Love Story. I think I'm going to have to buy a copy of the book and do a giveaway here to pay it forward. More on that in another post.
I'm just so touched by my friend and Ree. I went to bed counting my blessings and from now on I'll try to keep my eyes wide open and appreciate the wonderful things coming my way.