Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Monsters at My Door

scritch scritch scritch

Go away, monsters. You can't scare me.

scritch scritch...

Everything is fine. I am fine.

scritch scratch

It's January. No one is happy in January. It's cold and there are resolutions we're already failing to keep and not enough daylight so everyone's Vitamin D deficient or something.

No one is happy the week before they turn thirty.

No one is happy all the time. That would be impossible. I'm just not having a perfect week.

It doesn't mean you can come back.

It doesn't mean anything.



[Edit next morning: Last night after writing this post, I forced myself to go back and face my novel again. And you know what? I got some good stuff done and I felt better. So consider that 1 point Jennifer, Monsters 0. I just kicked the door shut IN THEIR FACE. I hope they stay away. We'll see.]


  1. What is it about this birthday that scares people? I didn't grow up in the US, so I didn't encounter this idea until I came here. I honestly don't get it. (And I'm over thirty, so I had my own feelings about it, but they were mostly good ones).

  2. Well, your 30th birthday is used as a marker of sorts. It's the age at which you're "supposed" to (or rather often expect to, when you're a mere 22-year-old college grad) accomplish all of your goals.

    It's particularly stressful for women because it's sort of the "deadline" for having kids. I know that is changing, but it's still a time of stress. In the used book store where I worked in Vermont, there was an oversized book called "Pregnancy Over 30" all about the extreme risks a woman was taking by having a baby at such an advanced age.

    For the modern woman, I think it can be a marker for when you hope to accomplish enough of your career goals that you can make the decision to start a family without sacrificing your own personal ambitions.

  3. I wasn't reading your blog back when you posted that first piece you link to hear. Interesting to read.

    I sympathize deeply with your irritations and anxieties at the moment. But I hope you're feeling better.