So, tonight in the middle of kickboxing class, I almost fainted. It was the strangest sensation. My vision got blurry but not dark, I felt wobbly but not dizzy, and it suddenly seemed as if I had my hands over my ears because I couldn't quite hear anyone around me.
I must have gone even paler than usual too because the women around me immediately asked if I was all right. Then again, I was also clutching my punching bag for dear life, because I'll be damned if the granddaughter of Dot Smeaton is going to faint in public.
And just in case you're thinking it, no, I am NOT pregnant.
That being said, this has never happened to me before, and I'm a person who has pushed her body beyond its limits many many times in my thirty years. I've had my low blood sugar moments where I subtly (I hope) leaned against a wall to keep from falling, or moments when the blood roared in my ears when I stood up (again, low blood sugar). That doesn't happen much anymore now that I try to avoid carbs and candy (TRY being the operative word, of course).
(Reader, this seems to be a parenthetical kind of post. Please forgive.)
The last couple weeks have been very...full. There's a lot going on, or almost going on. I thought I was handling it, but maybe I'm not? Maybe I need to go a little easier on myself.
I always think NOT being hard on myself is enough but maybe I need to go a little further. Maybe I need to treat myself a little more gently.
I'm only sharing this because it may serve as a reminder that you also need to be a little gentler and kinder to yourself.
Note: It's best to consider this BEFORE you find yourself flat on your back with your legs propped up against the bag your supposed to be kicking and punching.
I feel a reading binge coming on. You know how I am. Reading comes in waves and I've learned not to fight it. Since last week I've had the overwhelming urge to crawl inside a book. It wasn't possible a few days ago, but now it is.
I'm supposed to start with Audrey Niffenegger's THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE, which I'm rereading for a local book club. Then I'm going to read Sarah Waters' TIPPING THE VELVET. And after that, I'm hoping to read CHIME.
The thing is, I can be surprisingly stubborn when it comes to books. I guess I used up all my self control on all the books I was forced to read in middle and high school that I loathed and now I just read whatever I want. There are many nice things about being an adult, that being one of them.
Another is that sometimes, when I feel like it, I buy I candy bar in the checkout line at the grocery store ON A WHIM, just because I can.
Anyway, I'm going to try and be extra nice to myself this week and I hope you will too. I've started by making myself some Tension Tamer tea, which has such an odd taste. And then I shall go to bed. And we'll just see what happens tomorrow, won't we?