Thursday, January 14, 2010

No One Told Me There Would be Spiders...

Hello, Faithful Reader! I know I've neglected you shamelessly, and it's all because from Thanksgiving to, well, right now I was packing all of our stuff, then moving it up to Vermont in a terrible storm, and then unpacking it again. Aside from the storm, and the sketchy moving guys that screwed us over I didn't have much to share with you. But here I am. Back and better than ever!

Or so I had planned when I got up this morning. Because make no mistake, Reader: I had extensive plans. I was going to do some kickboxing, shower, and make this vegetarian Quinoa with Moroccan Winter Squash and Carrot Stew recipe I got from Epicurious (sooo good. Just omit the cayenne pepper--too spicy--and the saffron--too expensive). Then I was going to skip into town to meet my husband for lunch and to explore the local bookstore and then possibly stop into the coffee shop to work on my query letter.

But what have I done so far this morning? I've eaten a generous handful of Valentine's M&Ms for breakfast, read Perez, and am now blogging. What derailed me so easily?

A. Greenish. White. Spider. ON MY COUNTER.

Did you know it was winter? In Vermont? I thought winter killed creepy crawly things. That's what helps me sleep at night! That's what makes me embrace winter and laugh at all the fools who live in warmer climes and have to deal with MONSTROUS insects that their endless summer allows to run rampant with no check to their growth. (shudder)

And yet. There was a spider.

Reader. Let me explain something to you. I once was a girl who didn't mind spiders. But then one day my sister and I agreed to help our friend Elaine clean out her clubhouse. Lo and behold it was absolutely covered in spider egg sacs. When I was finished I was a changed person. It didn't help that my parents' house was and is some sort of convention center for wolf spiders and that my mom likes to NAME THEM and talk to them as though they are family. (double shudder)

Anyway, that's my excuse. But really for a woman who loves old farmhouses and walks in the woods I have a very serious spider problem.

Luckily this spider was pretty in a corpse-like way and--most importantly--was not of a size that would discourage me from killing it. I pulled on my yellow super hero gloves, grabbed a wasteful amount of paper towels and smashed it.

Victory!

And then, as if smugly mocking my attempts to gain some control over my morning, the sink began to burp, and gurgle, and finally, to spit up. For those of you wondering, the plumber is coming tomorrow to take a look at this problem. Apparently it happens whenever the people upstairs do laundry. The pipe doesn't drain fast enough so the water bubbles up into our kitchen sink. Gross. I didn't think this would be a big problem, but apparently the people upstairs do laundry way more than I do. Approximately every single day.

Laundry water, you're thinking. Could be worse. Yeah, it could be. It could be sewage in my bathtub like this time last year at my old place. But you know what? It's still dirty water bubbling up in the place where I like to cook delicious Quinoa with Winter Squash and Carrots.

Looks like we'll be having M&Ms for dinner tonight.

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