You're Welcome, J.Crew

So I went to get the mail tonight, and it's as if all the retailers of the world could sense my despair at not having a job and my general lack of sufficient jet setting funds, and decided to rub salt in the wound by sending me catalogs.

And I get one from J.Crew.

Now, J.Crew and I go way back. Even when I was a highly UNfashionable teen, whose friends chastised her for wearing white eye shadow that was almost indistinguishable from my pale skin, I still loved J. Crew. I poured through the catalog, I drooled over the window displays, and I imagined that if I could just afford that sundress in the right (re: small) size, everything in my life would fall into place.

I've since been a regular customer until this past year when J.Crew started featuring "real people" as opposed to models for the menswear section of their catalog early last year. The men were normal looking, not always particularly attractive or fit, and even over the age of thirty. They were photographed in their work spaces, with a little blurb explaining what they did (often something in art or fashion or design).

In the women's section, however, the models continued to be approximately seventeen years old and eighty-five pounds. They teetered on high heels in front of white backgrounds in mini skirts, and--I am not making this up--fishnet ankle socks. Yep. Apparently women are supposed to want to have the figure and fashion of a six-year-old girl.

This pissed me off. Why didn't the women have imperfect bodies, and wrinkles, and, you know, CAREERS!?

So I stopped ordering from them. I wrote to their marketing department several times complaining about this. I even complained on twitter. And lo and behold, what is on the first page of my new catalog?

"Muse Worthy: Who better to model our clothes than some of the women who inspire us every day? In this follow-up to our "Real Guys Relate" feature, we handpicked nine women--friends, associates, acquaintances--whose effortless style and creativity regularly give us pause (and a twinge of envy)."

Huh.

Keep in mind that "handpicked" means, "made sure they were under a size 8." But hey, at least they all have careers, and there's even some diversity in there. Naturally, I'm crediting myself entirely for this turn of events. So you know what? YOU ARE WELCOME, J CREW.

Someday, maybe I'll actually get paid for my ideas. And then I can finally splurge on those fishnet ankle socks. A girl can dream...