Reader, I'm going to be honest with you: this week is a blight on the fair month of June. It has been fraught with peril. It is, in short, a horrible, no good, very bad week!
I will spare you the details of said week. They are not important. They are not life-threatening, and most importantly, they are not funny.
What I will share with you, is the tragic events of this morning, which drove me to the computer. On bad mornings in the middle of bad weeks, the only potion that's up to the task is my dwindling supply of Scottish tea with milk and sugar (ONLY white sugar--not honey or brown sugar or Equal or anything else. Just. Sugar.).
So I made my potion...er, tea. And I let it steep a long time because in times like this, strong tea is best. And then I went to the fridge and do you know what I saw there? Several rotting bunches of herbs, some leftover rice in a Chinese takeout box, and NO MILK.
Not a splash.
The potion can't work without milk. I think that's fairly obvious. Only very poor, very desperate students studying abroad who have three more days before they take the bus across town to grocery shop and then lug everything home in their backpacks are willing to drink their Scottish tea in such a base, vile way. (Trust me, I know.)
It will not do. It simply will not do.
My potion has failed. I fear the worst. This week can't end fast enough.