When Two is Not Enough

Reader, I was just skimming through my recent posts and I realized I've been a bit of a hypocrite lately. I've been complaining about things being too serious and yet my blog has definitely been walking around with its dark rimmed glasses, its favorite sweater vest, and the matching argyle socks lately.

The good news is that I found one last cleavage cover on my phone! I give you...

The Tri Boobed Alien Woman

Look how grim our intrepid hero looks on the cover as he announces to the world that he's totally getting it on with a girl who has three boobs. He's all, "Seriously guys, I love her. Yes, she has three boobs, but that has nothing to do with the way I feel about....MOTORBOAT!!!"

Meanwhile she's like, "I can't believe I finally found someone who loves me for who I am, not how many mammary glands I've got. We are totally connecting right now. We're even holding hands!"

Poor, misguided alien woman.

The illustrator really wanted to make sure we got the whole THREE BOOBS, BRAH look by including three mysterious floating orbs. I am going to label them as moons.

Unless they are supposed to symbolize man parts, in which case...maybe these crazy kids have more in common than I gave them credit for.

Personally, I find the boobs really disconcerting. Accuse me of jealousy all you like. When I look at them, all I can see are egg sacs or something. Is it just me?

Let's consider the close up, shall we?

Those stars on her boobs...is that part of the outfit or...does she have some seriously weird nipples too?

WHAT? I'm just asking.