Thursday, August 20, 2009

The Sparkly, Awesome, Totally Badass Power of Rainbows

First, let me just say that my revisions have been going very well this week thankyouforasking! I thought I should mention that so that I don't seem to complain ALL the time. With any luck I'll reach the dreaded end by Friday and can spend all next week agonizing over it. Fun!

Now that that important announcement is out of the way, I would like to discuss something slightly random: rainbows. But not just any rainbows, mind, I'm talking about the sparkling, semi sentient ones that are kept in super cute accessories and are only let out in order to fight crime.

That's right, kiddos, I'm talking about 80's Cartoon Rainbows!

What is it about 80's cartoons for girls and the power of rainbows? On one hand, I have to admit it's a pretty clever "weapon" seeing as it's completely non violent. On the other hand, though, it's annoying when you compare it to the guns and lasers depicted in "boy cartoons" such as G.I. Joe, Transformers, Dinoriders, etc. She-Ra, a former lieutenant with a magical sword is the obvious anomaly here. Thank goodness for the Power of Grayskull--am I right, ladies?

So the other day I started thinking: what if the rainbow accessory weapon was actually a code? Once you go down this crazy path with me it will all make so much more SENSE. I'm sure you'll share in my relief.

First, here are my two favorite examples of a girl character wielding the power of the rainbow (really just pushing a button as the rainbow does the rest) to vanquish the evil male creature.

Rainbow Brite, The Beginning of Rainbow Land:


My Little Ponies, Rescue From Midnight Castle (skip to 4:00 for the rainbowtastic action):


First, let me point out that both bad guys are male. They are also shown to be significantly older than all the main characters. They are power hungry and afraid of any change that could be brought about by the heroes. They are full of hate and are close minded. And they are destroyed by rainbows.

And what, kids, do rainbows symbolize? (Pointedly ignores answers that involve God and promises not to drown everyone ever again.)

That's right! Gay pride and the LGBT Social Movement, which began in the 1970's. Now it all makes sense!

The cartoon creators were supporters of gay rights and they wanted to show future generations that love should always conquer over aging, power hungry, close-minded politicians (The Man). So they created cartoons showing that the symbol of gay pride, the rainbow, could vanquish these foes.

How clever to conceal the rainbow in attractive accessories for women (a chic belt for Rainbow Brite, a locket for Megan in MLP). Seeing as women have generally been more compassionate towards gay rights (or at least we've been portrayed that way thanks to the archetype "Gay Best Friend"), it makes perfect sense that they would target a female audience.

Genius! And here I was complaining that all those rainbows were just corporate America and the media trying to marginalize impressionable girls by encouraging them to be passive, sweet, and nonviolent.

RAINBOW POWER!

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