1. Last night I scrolled to a fresh, blank page of my novel and typed, "Chapter 30" at the top.
This could be the last chapter. It will more likely be the penultimate (Vocab word!). What matters most is that it is, without a doubt, the final scene. Big things are about to go down. I'm scared and excited and hopped up on coffee.
And I feel...I feel...I feel happy of myself.
2. When I'm stalling on writing, I play around with possible titles. The Charmed Bracelet seems too gender-specific to me. I am a little hesitant to share other ideas here, though. Blogging can be odd in that way. Should I share? Do you want me to do?
Is anybody listening to me?
3. Here's something to make you think: another beautiful, provocative, and uplifting post from Terri Windling
Here are some ideas for gifts you can give to the bibliophile woman in your life, limited, of course, by my reading preferences. Warning: I haven't labored over this, I'm just throwing out some ideas I had. I'll add more if they come to me. This is by no means a comprehensive gift guide!!
1. The Woman Who Will Always Be Little Red Riding Hood
[Edited 12.15.11] Gift: When shopping for the fairy tale girl, the question is not what to get, but where to begin? She may be shy, she may be demure. She may kick around in old jeans and never wear makeup. And yet, secretly, she is a princess.
Oh, I just upped the ante now, didn't I? You're shopping for a princess! But don't despair. Here are several ideas that will surprise and delight her.
1. An extravagant headdress: Don't think it's her style? That's only because she's in disguise. She may never dare to wear one of these lovelies at a ball for fear of giving herself away, but there's nothing wrong with dressing up for a Saturday night in with a good book!
2. Shoe Clips: Because every princess needs a special pair of shoes and these clips ensure that even the simplest peasant flat has a bit of faerie godmother magic.
3. Toadstool: Maybe she's a wild woodland princess, who doesn't like fancy shoes or jewels. In that case, perhaps she'd like a toadstool of her own!
Mushroom Pouf at Anthropologie for $138.00. (It's 15" high)
5. The Dragon Rider...I mean, Reader
Despite the obvious fire hazards, bibliophiles and dragons can't help but fall in love. Every book-loving woman needs a trusty dragon companion, don't you think?
Book:
There are too many to list! The dragon-loving reader might feel a kinship with Cimorene from Dealing with Dragons and the rest of the series by Patricia C. Wrede (now available as a boxed set), or perhaps at heart she's a dragon rider of Pern in Anne McCaffrey's beloved series. Then again, she might, deep down, be Danaerys from George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire, or September from Catherynne M. Valente's The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making.
Book: She might be Team Jacob, or maybe she prefers Sam from Maggie Steifvater's Wolves of Mercy Falls, or maybe she's a fan of Nick from Carrie Jones' Need series.
Maybe, she loves them all. It takes more than one wolf to make a pack, right?
Gift: For this woman, why not give her a wolf of her very own? Through the World Wildlife Fund, you can adopt a gray wolf for as little as $25.(Image borrowed from the WWF site)
Hi there, Reader. I have fallen off the blogging wagon lately, mostly because of my new job and because I'm desperately hoping to complete the YA revision of my novel before my 30th birthday which (EEK) is skulking and sighing on the other side of the new year.
This week, I'm determined to come back to you. Here's what you can expect from me today and later this week:
1. Highlights from my trip to New York this past weekend, including a trip to the SECRET BOOKSTORE. (As a rule, secrets should probably never appear in all caps. Please read it as a hoarse, loud whisper.)
2. Earlier I introduced you to my Dashwood Book Reviews, but I've got a new idea: the One and Done. I have a pile of books glaring at me and demanding to be reviewed. I know exactly what I'd say to a friend if he/she asked me whether or not they should read this or that book. So why not just say that to you?
I'll be tearing through the book pile and reviewing each book in 1-3 sentences. If anyone out there wants a more thorough review, just comment on the forthcoming post and I'll happily oblige. Plan? Oh, we have one.
3. I have ONE MORE post up my sleeve from my previous life at the used book store in Vermont. Yes! One last book I've been holding back. I'll be sharing that with you this week. Maybe even today!
4. The long promised giveaway for Daughter of Smoke and Bone. Just in time for Christmas!
5. Gift Guide: Book and Gift combos for the readers in your life.
Methinks I've overextended myself. Well, I will do my best not to let you (or myself) down!!! Now, back to admission reading so I have time to blog later.
Last night I couldn't sleep again. Lately it's been so easy to let life overwhelm me. It's always high tide and the waves are always crashing over the walls, I guess.
But today I'm going to try and focus on gratitude. Here's a list of good things in my life today:
1. I went to get pumpkin coffee but left with French Vanilla. Oh, hello French Vanilla goodness. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?
2. It's warm! Like, in the 60s. The snow is mostly gone at last. The sunshine feels warm, the sky is blue, and best of all, I can smell the earth. Oh how I will miss that smell when everything is frozen for the winter.
3. Had a great yoga class today. No head stands, thankfully, but some bridge/ backbends and lots of balance work, which I like. Today I felt good in my body. It reminded me of how only a couple years ago, my body felt entirely foreign to me. Whether you have an injury, an ongoing body/ food issue, or illness, it can be so painful to feel disconnected from yourself. Today I'm saying, "Thank you, Body."
Finally, if you're on Goodreads, I hope you'll friend me. I joined ages ago, put a bunch of books on my list and then never went back. Well, now I'm back for good!
With my friend Faye, I'm going to be running a Goodreads book group for Sirens, the conference I attend every October. I'll also be posting about local author/ book events and am hoping to encourage other people to share events in their area.
So if you're interested in women in Fantasy literature, I hope you'll check out the Sirens Group and introduce yourself on the Intro Thread! It's open to everyone. I just go by Jennifer Ambrose on the site, just so you know.
If you've been a monster grump this week, I hope you take a few minutes to make a gratitude list, to walk outside, and—if you're lucky—smell the earth.
Hello, Reader. I've been in a total grump slump since Sunday night. I keep saying I have no idea why, but now that I think about it, it's pretty obvious:
1. I saw my parents for a few hours on Saturday and now I miss them.
2. I'm worried about my family. Most of them live in Connecticut and are currently without power. They are very cold and this makes me sad.
3. There is STILL SNOW ON THE GROUND from the storm over the weekend. I like winter (mostly) but...it's just. I can't. It's too soon! Too soon I say!
4. I'm in a Rivendell chapter in my novel. It's one of those, everyone needs to recover and figure out what the Hell they're going to do now. That's means lots of Conversations and emotional shifts. No exciting chase scenes or zexy, flirtatious scenes or anything else that's super exciting to write. Instead it's all difficult groundwork for the rest of the story and you guys it's soooo haaaaaaaard.
5. There was nothing to eat for breakfast, so I had a couple leftover Hershey bars dipped in peanut butter. Someone save me from myself!!!
I have yoga class in an hour. Thanks to some show-off, we'll be doing a handstand workshop. I hate handstands. I took dance class starting at seven or eight years old and continued to dance through college. And how did I get into dance in the first place? Because I sucked so bad at gymnastics and every girl in my elementary school did gymnastics.
Basically anytime my butt has to change places with my head, I have problems. Go figure. So this class will either readjust my mood for the better and leave me feeling very zen, or will magnify my grump slump tenfold.
In other news, happy first day of NaNoWriMo. I signed up, but really only so I can reap the benefits of the word counter chart things and all the momentum. I'm desperately hoping to finish my rewrite of The Charmed Bracelet by the end of the year, so that means I need to make a real push through November. If any of you are going to participate, I hope you friend me! I'm JenniferWriter.
Okay, time to head back to Rivendell. The only true cure for a grump slump (for me, anyway) is progress and productivity.
I just deleted a whole three paragraphs of this post. You know why? Because it was just foreplay. And while foreplay is nice and all, this post is about The Climax. So let's get down to business, shall we?
The question is this: What makes a good, satisfying climax (in a book)?
Well, since this is a one-way conversation until you all comment and share your opinions, I can only speak to my own preferences and opinions.
For me, I think I like for there to be simultaneous physical and emotional climaxes.
(One could, if one were so inclined, make a joke here about women and men and what they want from their corporeal climaxes. But this is a classy blog and also this post has nothing to do with those sort of climaxes, so this One, at least, will refrain from said joke.)
I think Fantasy lends itself well to this parallelism. There is often a journey across a physical landscape as well as a journey into adulthood or to a new realization, responsibility, relationship, or change of heart.
I like when the emotional and physical landscapes reflect each other. I think it's because it gives me the sense that there is a purpose to things, an order and meaning that may or may not exist in real life.
How about I make a list of what I DON'T like in my climaxes:
1. I don't like when the action is off stage 2. I don't like when the climax depends solely on a mental or emotional change with no action 3. I don't like when the climax has action that fails to also resolve or at least bring to a head (God, the puns are writing themselves!) the emotional issues in the story 4. I don't like when the climax revolves around characters or issues that I didn't think were central to the story
An example of a recent book's climax that I liked was A.S. Byatt's POSSESSION. It could have been guilty of #2 on my list since it's a mostly scholarly book however Byatt cleverly sets the climax during a massive (and, as it happens, real) storm as well as during a grave robbing. This gives the climax a sense of excitement while also bringing all the characters together--thus providing a lot of emotional resolution or at least bringing things to a head.
Can you guys think of some other climaxes that worked for you? Or some that didn't? And, I'm curious, do any of you have complaints/ pet peeves you'd add to my list?
Sometimes I worry that I wasted all of my productivity and discipline in high school. I was so driven then. So focused. And yet now I manage to fritter away a morning without even trying.
Here's a list of some of the mistakes I've made in the last week:
1. Buying Nutella for the first time. Bad Jennifer. I had finally tricked myself into believing those hilarious new ads that claim Nutella is a hazelnut spread with a pinch of cocoa that makes a healthy and sensible breakfast for children. (I could probably track down the US version, but this one has an accent!)
Here's the truth: Nutella is spreadable chocolate, people. Spreadable. Chocolate.
And I'm still scraping the jar for one last taste like some sad little druggie.
2. Internet stalking a pair of Boden heels I want to see if they'll go on sale.Well, they went on sale today. They're still not that affordable. They're definitely not affordable for writers with part time jobs. But you guys, it's my high school reunion this year. And even poor penniless writers with delusions of grandeur need something pretty on their feet. In fact, we especially need the confidence boost. Lord knows I'm not looking forward to the, "And what do you do?" question and the inevitable followup, "A writer! Are you published?"
3. Opening the internet at the start of my writing time, "just for a minute." HA. Hours pass and I eventually surface, confused, cranky, and with several new pairs of shoes charged on my credit card. I know I shouldn't do this, and yet I do. Writing time is for writing. Not shopping. Not cooking. Not blogging. I have done all three of these so far this morning and am ashamed of myself. My writing deserves better.
Children of the 80s, rejoice! Whitney is a blogger who reads a bunch of YA fiction, especially R.L.Stine, V.C. Andrews, and other literary greats. Then she writes hilarious recaps on her blog!
How did I find this gem, you may ask? I was trying to remember a creepy horror book I read at my friend's lake house when I was in middle school. I grabbed the book one day and just couldn't stop reading. Not because it was good so much as creepy. I googled this exact phrase, because it's all I could remember about the book: "YA horror+girl with tri colored hair_ islander"
Lo and behold, Whitney recapped this book! It's called The Fog by Caroline B. Cooney.Now not only is my obsessive need to remember that book satisfied, but I found a new, fun blog to read and share with you.
In other news, I just finished Seanan McGuire's Rosemary and Rue.It's Urban Fantasy and about faeries AND it's actually for adults (yay!), so I had to read it. Let me give you a brief review using LISTS!
What I Liked:
1. It's Urban Fantasy for adults. I do enjoy YA urban fantasy buuut sometimes I want to read something meatier. This was about Toby, a changeling (in this world, meaning half fae half human) private detective with baggage. While there is some romance in it, it's not about her romance with any one guy (a guy who somehow represents the metaphorical path the rest of her life will take if she decides to go steady with him. ZOMG).
2. The Main character is flawed but in a likable way. She's also a woman but I feel like that's incidental--for the most part, which is nice.
3. The fae world McGuire creates is really interesting. I was occasionally annoyed that every single fae Toby encounters in some unique mix of this or that but that's just me.
Now, What I Didn't Like:
1. The book suffers a bit from what I like to call Felicity Syndrome. That being, seemingly every male character introduced, falls in love with the main character. However, I would call this book the girl's version of Harry Dresden--in other words, a fantasy/detective story. And in a typical male protagonist noir/detective story, the detective is surrounded by women who want to sleep with him. In this book, the female protagonist is surrounded by men who want to love her (also have sex with her, obviously).
So then I thought, well maybe that's what most women want. Sex with someone who also wants to protect them, and brush their hair off their face when they sleep. Is that so wrong? So we'll consider this a tentative con of the book.
2. She needs rescuing. Like, a lot. And there's often fainting involved and being carried by one of the aforementioned burly men who love her. Yes, she is a tough character. But if you force the tough girl into scenarios where she is constantly relying on a guy and fainting in his arms, then it feels like fake feminism. (Kind of like a certain *clumsy* wannabe teen vamp who just wants to be Independent but really is a danger to herself without a man to rescue her, *cough*Bella*cough*)
Bottomline: Will I Read The Next Book? Yes, yes I will.
To wrap up the news for tonight, I want to share that during a brief, violent storm, the sky turned a sickly shade of greenish yellow. Yes, it was awesome. Yes, I took photos. No, they did not do the eerie sky justice.
1. The weather is perfect today: blustery and, as the woman in Scotland said of the torrential rain that greeted my husband and I on our honeymoon, "wild".
2. I am grumpy.
3. Later I will get coffee, which will make me less grumpy.
4. This is a hilarious tumblr post by Nitsuh Abebe. It explains why it's not a good idea to date a writer. I'm so glad my husband didn't read this before I could trick him into marrying me. Also, writing "tumblr" really pains me. Why no "e"?? Why?
5. For the cuteness portion of this post, I offer you the amazing new Penguin Classics covers featured on one of my twin's favorite blogs, Design Sponge. Check it out here.
Also, because I can't just abandon you without some visual stimuli, this:
Please note, red pandas--like the one in this video--are very much endangered. You can learn more from National Geographic and WWF.
I am blogging on a laptop in a hotel. I feel so "Neil Gaiman" right now! It would be better if I was simultaneously blogging, writing a new novel, and revising a script for a Buffy the Vampire Slayer reunion special (that's sort of my Dr. Who, you know?), but oh well. I will have to settle for JUST blogging at the moment.
Where to begin? Let's make a list that is in no way organized but will instead, provide the illusion of order and organization. Shall we?
We shall.
1. Everyone at Bread Loaf insisted I was friendly and outgoing. A woman from my workshop (one of my many new friends!) even insisted that I couldn't be a writer because I was too happy. Ha! On the advice of my mother, I generally let people think this if they want to. But you, Reader, know many of my secrets, including this one. Once she reads this post, she will realize her mistake.
But for the record, I slept ALL DAY on Saturday after the conference. I mean I went to bed at 1 AM and woke up at 1 PM, got up and ate something, went back to bed, moved to the couch, slept for 2 more hours, went for a walk and ate again, and went back to bed. Pretending to be an extrovert is seriously exhausting. Fun, but exhausting.
2. In the hotel in which I am blogging, there is TV (we don't have TV at home. We have A TV but it's used for Netflix and Playstation games). Of course I couldn't resist watching some junk while my husband was at a business meeting. In the span of an hour I watched an infomercial that told me I needed special age-defying cream (the customers who used the product proudly declared their ages and most of them were only 31!!!), and another advertisement for one of those workout DVD sets that promises to give you a brand new body in 60 days.
I am a sucker for those ads. As someone with lifelong body issues, I'm enthralled by the idea of getting a body upgrade in just two months. Two months! However, after two years of reabilitating my ankle and knee, I'm just trying to be grateful for a healthy, working body. Maybe I don't really need perfectly flat abs to be happy. I mean, maybe I do, but I'm just entertaining the possibility that I don't.
3. My reading at Bread Loaf went really well! I made sure to select a short story that wouldn't distract anyone with its weird fantasy aspects--I picked a story about a woman who is haunted by her mother's ghost. Standard Magical Realism stuff. I was happy to read a story that people could understand and enjoy. I read for five minutes and my voice didn't shake. I don't think it did, anyway. And people told me afterwards they liked it. Success!
4. I know I promised you a recap of the top writing lessons I learned at Bread Loaf 2010, and it's coming. I slept through Saturday (see #1), so I couldn't write it then, and I slept through most of Sunday as well. The rest of Sunday was spent catching up on all the cleaning and grocery shopping that did not get done while I was gone and had our one car with me on the mountain. I still want to review my notes first, to make sure I don't leave anything out. I should post it sometime this week.
5. Does anyone know where my husband is? Because I am starving! If you see him, could you let him know? Thanks.
For the sake of brevity, I'm just going to make a list of the top ten reasons I did NOT enjoy Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland:
1. The only excuse I can come up with for the thin plot and juvenile humor is that it was intended for children. Personally I think the marketing people made it seem like it would appeal to everyone, and perhaps might even be more appropriate for an older audience. Alas, this is not the case.
2. The characters go through the motions of the plot without any good reason. It seems as if, off screen, they are referring to the script. "Okay, now I go here and help Alice. Can't imagine why, but whatever, it pays the bills..."
3. I think the screenwriter, Tim Burton, and the designers just flipped through Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass simply to glean ideas from John Tenniel's illustrations (rocking-horse flies, snapdragon flies, disproportionate body parts) and "cool" quotes. The quotes were particularly grating. They seemed to be taken at random and shoved into the plot as a wink and a nod to Alice fans, but it really just came off as smug and ignorant--"See how we did that right there with that little bit of dialogue we stole from Lewis Carroll?? Instead of using it to bring new meaning to the story, we're just going to repeat it OVER AND OVER to make it SEEM as if it means something."
4. I HATE when people combine the Red Queen from Through the Looking-Glass and the Queen of Hearts from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. It particularly annoys me because the Red Queen has some of my favorite bits of dialogue. I think mixing the playing card imagery of the first book with the chess piece imagery of the second just waters it all down to a confusing mishmash. The final battle ended up being playing card soldiers vs chess piece knights when it could have been just chess pieces and would have been more symmetrical and much cooler, especially considering that the battlefield was, of course, a chess board.
5. I hate to say this, but Johnny Depp was irritating at best. The infamous accent that Tim Burton was squealing over is actually a bunch of accents that change depending on the moment. I suspect that Depp did this on purpose to SHOW us how mad the Hatter is. But smashing together Mike Myers' Fat Bastard with Captain Jack Sparrow just didn't do it for me.
6. And another thing about the Mad Hatter (and some of you may disagree with me on this). In the books I didn't find him all that mad. Very literal-minded, quirky, and not entirely sane perhaps but not totally and completely insane. I agree with Depp that he's somewhat of a tragic figure (especially when he is being cross examined by the King of Hearts in one of Tenniel's most well known illustrations from the books, see below) but making him straight up insane just seems lazy. Image borrowed from The Victorian Web site, with many thanks.
7. A third and final comment on the Mad Hatter--was he supposed to be a maybe, sort of romantic interest for Alice? Because Curt and I turned to each other at a couple uncomfortable moments. Hello, Johnny Depp may look eternally young but we all know he's not young enough to be making eyes at a seventeen year old. As Depp chides Alice in the movie, "Naughty."
8. Anne Hathaway's White Queen. She just swans around with her black lipstick and white wig like a ballerina in a pantomime pas de deux. Why are we supposed to believe she's the best queen for the job?? Apparently because the only alternative is much worse.
9. The framing story goes beyond cliche in its clicheness. There's the foppish would-be fiancee, the shrewish potential mother-in-law, the stodgy people who just don't get why Alice is WEIRD. But of course we, the audience, understand completely, since Alice conveniently hates corsets. Ah, she is a modern woman after all.
10. I can't come up with a single reason why I'm glad I saw this movie. Even Matt Lucas (whom I adore) couldn't redeem it for me. Nor is there a single character I enjoyed. Sorry, folks but that's the truth. Take your children to this if you must, but don't expect to enjoy it. And if you haven't already, for goodness sake READ THE BOOKS!
********************************************************************************** Editor's Note 3.10.10: In retrospect, the "hate" in my title is a bit harsh. I did not enjoy the movie but I suppose I didn't hate it. Perhaps in 3D I would have been able to feast on the visuals more, and leave the story behind.
Also in the past few days, my husband and I have been bringing up the Chesire Cat several times. He is very well done (particularly when he kneads the Hatter's hat in a very catlike way--hilarious and understated. Wish there had been more of those sorts of details.)
And Helena Bonham Carter was wonderful, I just wish she'd been given a little more to work with not only with character but with plot as well. There, I feel better.
I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat things today. I am seriously bummed out. I was furious before, but my blood pressure spiked so many times in the last couple days that I think even it has given up. I don't even know if I have the energy to go into detail about all this junk, when so many others have done so and done it eloquently and--miraculously--without expletives, which is more than I could manage.
Let's do what I do whenever the world gets too suffocating. Let's make a list, shall we?
Things That Are Currently Bumming Me Out
1. Book Cover Whitewashing: There was a huge uproar over Bloomsbury's initial cover design for Justine Larbelestier's YA novel Liar, which features an African American narrator who is described on Larbelestier's blog as being, "black with nappy hair, which she wears natural and short."
So...nothing at all like the cover. If you missed the controversy, you can read about it on the author's blog (link above) or at Publisher's Weekly.
After a very loud public outcry, Bloomsbury finally changed the cover, selecting a lightskinned black woman with non threateningly curly hair. It didn't really satisfy me, but it was a huge improvement.
Weeks pass and Bloomsbury releases Magic Under Glass, a book featuring a Middle Eastern protagonist. And again, the cover depicts a white girl with brown hair. Susan at her blog Black-Eyed Susan's does a great job discussing the issue. You can see the second cover there as well.
Bloomsbury's argument through all of this seems to be that books with African American, Asian, Middle Eastern or other non white characters won't sell enough books. Which, said another way, means that people white people won't buy them.
Um. Excuse me. Did a publishing company just speak for me and my shopping habits? Because I don't even remember the last time I was given the OPTION of purchasing a book with a non white character on the cover so how do they know I won't buy it!?
This makes me sad. And yelly. And the only way this is going to change is if people (especially white people, in my opinion) stand up and say, yes I would buy a book with a non white person on the cover. In fact, watch me do that RIGHT NOW.
2. Movies with Ensemble Casts: Valentine's Day--that stupid movie that women are supposed to drag their boyfriends and girlfriends to for that stupid "holiday." The movie features an "all-star ensemble cast"....almost entirely made up of white people. Sure there are a couple minorities thrown in--Hector Elizondo and Jessica Alba for the latinas, though inexplicably Jessica is blond again. And Jamie Foxx and Queen Latifa for black people. Do you think Queen L will actually get a guy or will she just be the curvaceous, wise black friend who doles out advice to the skinny blond girl? But four minorities in a sea of white people does not a diverse cast make.
And that's just a lack of diversity within an entirely (I assume) heterosexual cast. Imagine being a gay Korean American, for example. Good luck finding any character in books (certainly not the cover!), TV, or movies that is remotely like you.
But getting back to the subject at hand...
I'm so sick of these ensemble movies that are either entirely white or entirely black (Tyler Perry). It's like these movies exist in imaginary worlds where there are only white or black people--latinas are okay if they are exceptionally attractive and can pass as white (Alba), while Asian, South Asian, and Middle Eastern people DO NOT EXIST.
Write a script about people. Write them however you want. Don't write them white or latina or whatever. Then cast them based on performance, not looks. Then maybe we'll have ensemble movies that actually represent a cross section of society.
3. Vanity Fair: Vanity Fair's latest cover features the actresses of the "New Hollywood." They are all extremely thin and extremely white. When I first saw the cover I rolled my eyes. I mean, give me a BREAK. More than that has happened as a reaction to Vanity's Fair's insulting decision. People are understandably upset, but many--re: creepy white supremacists--are applauding the decision. And I can't help but think if people would cast minorities in more roles--not just Roles Written for Minorities, just your average romantic comedy, then this wouldn't be such a big deal.
Side Note: While googling for the cover image, I noticed that Vanity Fair REALLY likes their cover girls to be as white as possible. Whiter even, than I thought was in fashion. I don't mean just racially white, I mean powdered Baroque white. Google it and see for yourself. Most of the covers are white white white. This is nothing new, people.
Case in point:
Salon.com discusses it well here. The language used in the Vanity Fair article to describe these actresses is, I think, the most worrisome part of all.
4. The Super Bowl Ads: The ads for this year's super bowl were so incredibly insulting that it took all of my willpower not to snarl at the TV. I only managed it because we were watching it with our new neighbors and their family and I didn't want to make a scene.
This is the one that made me want to smash my neighbors' beautiful flat screen TV
The incredibly talented author Catherynne Valente discussed the ads on her blog, managing to say everything I was thinking in a completely coherent way, without using expletives. So I suggest you read it.
So that sums up my crummy mood today. I feel insulted as a women and as a white person. And the only way any of this is going to get better is if we speak up. (Of course, getting more women and minorities into the jobs that make the cover art decisions, the casting decisions, and the commercial decisions, would sure as Hell help.)
1. Have you donated to Haiti yet? There's so many ways to donate, and every dollar counts! Here's a link to the American Red Cross and Doctors Without Borders, in case you've been waiting until RIGHT NOW to make your donation.
2. Don't you just love The Pioneer Woman (aka Ree Drummond)? Her Confessions blog makes me feel all warm and hopeful inside, like someday I can carve out a happy life for myself too, even if it is unconventional and may or may not include mini sheep (I really hope it does!). Plus she has some fantastic, stick-to-your-ribs-recipes, too.
3. What's your favorite dance-alone-in-your-underwear song? What? You haven't done that in, like, forever? Well, then I guess your Friday night plans are all set. YOU'RE WELCOME.
(Also, mine changes based on the newest song on the radio but a fail safe for me is Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham! This can not and should not be explained.)
4. When was the last time you forgave yourself for: a. Not finishing your to do list b. Not losing those last 10 lbs you're convinced you need to lose c. Failing to live up to your expectations d. All of the above?
5. When was the last time you called your mom and asked her how her day was going before she could ask you about yours?
1. Make myself sick to my stomach with worry over the uncertain future. Check.
2. Wander around, alternately freaking out about said uncertain future and flipping on TLC to watch Clinton and Stacy. Check.
3. Aimlessly reading author/editor/agent blogs and counting this as "work." Check
4. Stuffing my face with a generous handful of the donettes I bought for my husband's birthday on Monday (by request). Check.
5. Listening to Britney Spears' new song on repeat because for cosmic reasons unknown, I develop an obsession with every Britney single that has a dance beat (this has been the case since "Hit Me Baby One More Time," which I simultaneously mocked and obsessed over when it came out). Check!
I would say the day's been a success. What have you completed on your to do list today?
Hello hello! I suppose I should apologize for the lack of blogging lately. If it's any consolation, I have also been snubbing twitter. Basically, I've been trying to stay offline as much as possible in order to get more revisions done. The internet is such a huge distraction that I've been trying to not turn it on at all. Let me explain why:
1. There's always something funny or educational to read. Want to know what menstrual cups are? Google it! Blame the INTERN for that one.
2. There's always something super duper adorable to look at! Want to watch a video of mini sheep with spectacular narration? Youtube it!
(Is youtube a verb yet? The other day I used "follow friday'd" as a verb to a published author, which is embarrassing to say the least.)
3. Twitter! It provides the illusion that you're building your "platform" as a writer when all you're really doing is elbowing for space on a very small platform like the ones that they set up in the middle of a valley of mud in one of those team building exercises. Each person rope swings over the mud onto the platform and you have to work together to keep everyone out of the mud. I think I just stumbled onto a great metaphor for the publishing industry! Except for the teamwork part.
4. Email. You can harass your twin sis all day while she's at work to get back at her for all the times she harassed you while she was home alone and unemployed. Strangely enough, it's not as fulfilling as it sounds.
5. Then there are the writing blogs that one should read in order to learn about the industry. You can glean a lot of fantastic information from these blogs but I at least also tend to get cramps and hives while reading them.
Take this great post for example. It's got lots of great advice but it's also FULL of admonishments for what not under-any-circumstances-including-threat-of-death-by-BritPop to do in your writing.
6. Facebook. Stalking people you don't care to call let alone email. Another fantastic way to measure your life against someone else's.
7. Blogger. Again, this should be building my "platform" as a writer except that I'm not funny or interesting enough. So all it's really doing is providing an outlet for my fears while sucking up time that should be spent revising my book!!!
I rest my case. Going to go unplug myself and get back to work.
1. The sound sugar makes when you pour it into hot tea.
2. Birds outside my window on a quiet, cloudy morning.
3. Revising, even though it's hard and scary and is making me nauseous.
4. Blogger spell check because I never remember how to spell nauseous correctly.
5. My old college journals, which remind me that I can survive anything and also to not take myself too seriously.
6. Twitter. Because a friend of mine is in the hospital and in much need of prayers. I haven't spoken to a higher power (in any form you may prefer)for a long time, but I immediately went to twitter and asked anyone who prays to pray for my friend and her baby. Somehow, it helped. Last night I fell asleep praying. I'm not sure to who.
I'm feeling so happy today that I think I'll make a list. Lists also make me happy so this can only compound the general happiness.
Why I'm Happy Today
1. My cold is almost gone. This is my fourth cold since Christmas. Yes, I got Mono a few years ago and have been a lot more susceptible to illness since then but even so--four cold in four months?! Unacceptable. I'm hoping this is my last one for a long time.
2. My knee, ankle, and wrist are all feeling better. I've been in physical therapy for my knee since September. What did I do? I'm not sure. My knee cap just popped up and out and refused to track properly. I blame it on a tendency towards turning out (Thanks, Mom) and years of ballet followed by lots of running and no dance. I think I thought I still had good turnout but really I was just torquing my knee. Disaster!
The ankle injury is from nearly two years ago. I went for a run and tweaked my ankle. My family has weak ankles and this happens all the time so I thought nothing of it. BUT the next day I had an aerobics instructor certification class in Punk Rope (really fun, if you are in NYC look it up!). I spent allll day long jump roping and ended up damaging the cartilage in my ankle (at the top of the foot). The injury flared up again as my knee improved and I became slightly more active so now I'm rehabilitating that as well. And finally, I have tendonitis in my right wrist, which is a souvenir from my job as an editorial assistant and my days of paste up (if you know what paste up is, then you'll understand). And for unknown reasons it flared up very badly recently so I've been grappling with that as well. But I'm starting to feel more like a 27 year old again and less like a zombie whose body parts keep falling off.
3. It's gloomy out. This is good writing weather because it means I can make a nice big cup of Tesco tea (it's what I drank as a student at Stirling University when I was abroad) and pretend I'm in Scotland. Somehow gloomy days in New England aren't quite as wild and romantic as those in Scotland but I'm a writer and I can pretend pretty well.
4. I might be going to BEA! My friend Fish now works in publishing and I might be able to help his company there. This is awesome on so many levels. First, just being at BEA would be so cool. Second, working a booth would be a great experience and would give me a purpose other than "wannabe author and rabid book lover" wandering around. And third, the fact that one of my best friends is now in the book industry is so cool. The other day he sent me a joke email about publishing! Being able to share jokes with him about this stuff is really cool.
5. Motivation! Going to BEA means I should probably finish up my revisions asap so that if a *miracle* occured I would have a complete ms ready. Also I think I should clean up my monster book picture book manuscript, too. So I've got a lot to do and I should not be making long, rambling lists on blogger but should be writing instead.
